Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
