so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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