I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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