she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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