Non-Jews are for practice
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
