We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
