I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
