she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
