im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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