i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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