the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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