Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
