You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
