my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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