All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
