I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she pinky promised me she was 18
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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