Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
