This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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