She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
