Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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