my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
