The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
