you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
