his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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