these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
