we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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