I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm always down for nudity.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
