so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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