This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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