What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
