That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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