I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
