remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
