i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
