That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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