well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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