i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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