I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
