We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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