Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
