As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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