I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
