Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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