You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
