Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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