Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
