the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
