Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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