Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
