next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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