Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
