So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
